H u m o r A r c h i v e s
April 2001
Wedding tales
A little boy was in a
relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps,
stop, and turn to the crowd. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up
like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way
down the aisle. As you can imagine the laughing crowd was near tears by the time
he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more
distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached
the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, “I was
being the Ring Bear.”
Prayer in schools
One night Mike’s parents
overheard this prayer. “Now I lay me down to rest, and hope to pass
tomorrow’s test, if I should die before I wake, that’s one less test I have
to take.”
Office blunders
Q: What do
you call it when the church’s printer copies all the pages of the service
bulletin in the wrong order?
A: Mass confusion!
Swell swami
A swami regularly
walked barefoot through the Indian countryside. His feet became very hard and
calloused. His diet was spare, and he was extremely thin as a result. To keep
going, he tried to carry a little bit of garlic with him at all times and chew
on it for energy and clarity of thought. Thus, the swami became known as the . .
. Super Fragile Calloused Mystic Blessed With Halitosis.
Par for the course
A priest, seeing
what a beautiful Sunday it was — perfect golfing weather — called in sick
and made his way to the golf course in disguise. No one recognized him. He would
have gotten away with this little escapade except for one thing — many
parishioners prayed for him. The Angel Gabriel, hearing the prayers, looked down
from heaven and asked God if He was going to let the priest get away with this.
"No," said God. "Just watch!" Teeing off, the priest hit the
best shot of his life. It flew and flew, the longest swing imaginable! The ball
bounced once on the green and plopped into the hole. "What was that? asked
Gabriel. "I thought you were going to spoil his game. Instead You gave him
a miraculous hole in one!" "Exactly," said God. "And who's
he going to tell?"
—
via St. David's Episcopal Church
Austin, Texas
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